Recently, I've had the chance to be in afew immature instances. I wonder sometimes how someone who seems so smart, or so well groomed, would be lacking very much in the mental department. And by mental I do not mean sanity, but brains. Haven't we got 2 brains? Cs apparently some people only use 1. It's amazing how an issue so tiny can be blown up to life-sized proportion. And all it takes, really, is a darned pair of lips which just can't stop flapping.

Do not make me reach out for those lips. Because when I do.. You'll be watching yourself eat all of the word vomit you've managed.

You're causing me my name here and I will not let it go any further. Do not try to jeopardise the position that I am in now, it will not work. Don't drag me down with you.. pay for your OWN dues. I used to respect you. Now, I don't think you deserve even a tinge of it.To whom it may concern;Try shutting up sometime, I heard it's in.

P/s: I know you're reading. Grow up k? Thx.

Maybe I'm too comfortable in my own skin now. I need something to spur me on. I need to move, I need my system to start generating new insights. I've been in the same pair of shoes for far too long now, I've become so predictable. I disgust myself. This is not who I am, who I was made to be. My canvas is fading, I need a dash of red, or maybe a splash of the colour spectrum.

Well lucky me then. Because tomorrow, I'm removing my braces.

I let my guard down, and for what? You have yet to show me why I did this. And if it actually was a good idea. I don't like doubting you all the time. So give me something to trust in. I hope to see a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, if that's even what I'm on.

It's 4:06 am in Singapore, and 12:06 am here in Abu Dhabi. That's right, I'm still here. I was bumped off the flight back to Sg earlier yesterday because it was full. Plus, it was also because I was on a staff ticket. Which means I am not a priority whatsoever. My God, being in the airport for such long hours sucks big time. Walked about, finally found a functional powerpoint and went online. Saw Love logged on, and started my complain fest. Haha what, it's only normal okay. Besides the only way I was gna make sure I didn't panic was by sharing my ordeal.

I was chatting with him when my phone rang, looked at whose number was displayed and saw my cousins'. Wow does news spread fast or whaattt! She decided to crack jokes making me look like a lost lunatic laughing out loud every now and then. I heard a few beeps whilst talking to her. Then there was an incoming call. I picked it up and the lady on the other line said, "Hi this is Amilda, Ali's sister. I heard you're stuck at the airport? What happened?" And then bam! It hit me. I totally forgot that his sister's working for the same airline which's giving me problems, and is working in the same airport, living in the same country. Told her what happened and she said, "Fine, you get out of the terminal. I'll pick you up in awhile."

How weird is that? A blessing in disguise too I suppose. Or I'd have never gotten the chance to meet her since she's living in AUH. I'm in her apartment now typing whilst waiting for her to get ready and go to the airport. Hopefully I'll get a seat on the flight to KL. Where I'll meet Dad & Ibu. I seriously create trouble huh. Wish me luck all.

Am in the kitchen right now listening to Raya songs with sis. Very random I know. My God, I swear if just one wrong word is said, I will burst into tears. As much as I miss Sg, I am already dreading the thought of leaving my sis in this hole of a place. Geez :( And check out her status on FB. Sigh

You've got to give more. Much much more. Right now, all you're doing is taking. It's really sucking up all of the positive energy out of me. Yes, you might not be the most experienced in this but who's to say, really? Quit making me think so much. We're not even halfway through our journey. Perhaps it was a mistake, setting a goal. Or maybe all I have to do is to get my butt back in Sg. 4 days and counting.

Ps: Please don't make ignorance one of your alibis.

13th July, UAE 17:30 @ Costa Coffee

Ok this stinks. I keep having to buy a new drink at this cafe just to get an hour on the net. How annoying is this! :'( And I cannot afford to get anything else cs I swear to God my bladder is gna burst any moment now. This place is a hole! Up till this hour, I've spend SGD8 just on the wireless internet. God!

And this guy who I call my better half, couldn't BE more insensitive. Should I leave my lap top here, get up and rush to the toilet. Or should I get up, walk up to the counter and give the cashier a couple of winks to get an hour free. Or.... Should I just get another bottle of mineral water. Alright I don't have to cs sis is here.

Edit/:

Hehe so that was me throwing a minor bit*h fit in a foreign land, surrounded by Arabic men old enough to be my grandpa who won't stop staring. Had a good time after I went to relief myself though hahaha. So today's the 14th, which only means that I'm left with 5 days to be with my sister. Wow, I won't actually know when I'll meet her again. Sucks how she has to live here :'(

I've been flying solo for a few days now, and I've had too much time to spend by myself. It sucks when I have too much time in my hands - it just makes me think so much. I begin to think about everything unnecessary, generate them into something negative and then fret over it. I'll place myself in worst case scenarios that my head makes up just to further disturb me. Now, I really don't know if I ever got through to you, or will I ever?

I'm sipping my iced mocha at costa coffee in some foreign land as I type this. And as I type, I'm worrying even more. I've been thinking about my future too. And really, what am I doing about it? Am I submerging myself in redundant commitments, am I tying my feeble self down with too many unanswered questions, am I being grateful at all? Nobody said growing up was easy, but it can't be this difficult either right?

I've made a deal with myself. There's no way my future will be ruined in the name of puppy love, or in the name of wealth (pfftt if that ever comes into the picture). I am the only kid left for Ibu and Daddy to thoroughly rejoice over, and I shall not spoil that. Once school starts, that will be it. I will make that the best time of my life. I can't wait for August to come. Well partly cs there'll be a short getaway with them cousins to KL. Hehehehe. I will make sure that I love 2009. I already am in love with this year anyways. Almost literally. Nyeahahaha.

Let's just say a few days back a certain someone made me see how very insignificant I could be in your life, and that is a tiny part of why I'm worrying so much. This is the 2nd best thing that has happened to me, and it would kill me if anything happened. I'd hate to be in paranoid city most of the time.. but I cannot help it sometimes. I've been the happiest since the first time I saw you. You're already in my bloodstream. So please, stay.

In my sister's kitchen right now, with my lappy. Playing songs, introducing her to Yuna, Zee Avi, Stateless and what not. Haha I miss this. It's been so long since we were this random. It's only been my 1st day here and I've already spent 15 BD = SGD 60. I am so dead. I still have 13 days here.. looks like I'll have to wait for my pay and my pocket money to be transferred into me measly account :'(

Other than that, all is well. The weather is unbearably hot. It's hot, not warm. I am already slightly home sick all thanks to Love. Thank God I've got internet connection here. Happy happy happy! But still the time difference doesn't help. Watching her fry nuggets now whilst listening to The Fray. Gonna watch Drag Me to Hell once she's done frying.

Update again soon, hopefully with pictures.

Hi, I'm leaving for Bahrain in 8 hours. And I will be away for 2 weeks. I'll finally be able to "live" with my sister again. The pillar of strength I've missed for such a long time. Now we'll get to laugh at anything and everything, just like how we used to. Now I'll get to scream, "Kakak" from one end of a room to the other. And I will get to spill all of my secrets to you. I can't wait to see you.

Sucks how the past week couldn't be dedicated to spending time with you. Responsibilities are just a pain in the arse. I will miss you so much, just as it was, we were separated for a good week. And now, another 2.